Jody’s Blog . . . a life after chronic fatigue syndrome

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

 Happy Canada Day, all.

Or for the old-time purists like myself, Happy Dominion Day.

I am celebrating by starting a real blog. I had my website before I was able to get a real blog going, so had a journal of sorts for the last couple of months. But this is way cool, I must say.

Don’t know much yet about how to run it but that’s how everything starts, right?

I will probably drag my April, May and June journal entries on here once I have gotten to know my way around a bit.

I had a couple of requests for a spot for Comments (like you have on a Real Blog:-) so, if anybody has anything they want to say — I am ready. And if you have Real Blog advice for a newbie like me, PLEASE let me know.

I haven’t added any new articles to Ncubator in about a week. Usually I have about 4 articles a week posted, just hit a dry spell for a bit.

Having a new Real Blog to play with helps to rekindle the tired spark.

Image by josemiguels from Pixabay

Monday, June 15, 2009 

I posted 2 new articles on Ncubator tonight.

They are, per usual, dated for the next day, as it’s late in the evening (at least in my part of the world) by the time they went up. I think they should have a whole day. 

“The Great Grain Debate” and “Omega 3 Oil Eases the Pain” are about some important factors in my gradual recovery.

Some of these things take an inordinate amount of time and unfortunately it was not possible, at least in my case, to predict how long healing takes or how far healing will take someone with CFS. 

It’s funny now, wasn’t at the time — Almost 2 years ago, in July 2007, I began to have less haze and static. I still was vibrating most of the time but it didn’t get in my way so much, sometimes.

I thought, I am almost healed. I should be all better in like — a month? 

Instead I had a 2 month crash, because I didn’t know how to pace myself in this new envelope and un-paced myself right into the ground. I was SOME sick that time. 

Live and learn. It will take longer than you think it will. Objects in the mirror are further away, in this case, than they appear. 

But one thing is for certain, I believe, and that is that when I started regularly avoiding things that are toxic for me and ingesting things that are healthy for me, the only direction had to be up. (This was, at least, my hopeful and wistful logic.)

For me, it seems to be true, long dreary haul though it has been. 

I got to be the way I was in part because of various toxins that my body couldn’t handle anymore.

An immune system too overloaded trying to keep the assorted enemies at bay.

A digestive system more than likely thrown out of whack by things like Candida and other bacteria, hypersensitive to many foods, and not absorbing much in the way of nutrition …. 

You have just read the meanderings my mind takes, prompted by my articles about grains and omega 3 oil.

Thursday, June 11, 2009 

I’ve posted 2 new articles on Ncubator tonight. And EmpowHer.com has posted Parts 1 and 2 of my “Naturopathic Help for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” this week.

Very gratifying. 

More people on my Facebook page. I am foolishly pleased with this.

Not that it’s foolish to be pleased about it, but rather to be THIS pleased, well … Chalk it up to living in the barrens socially for a heck of a long time.

How great to be able to be in touch with people with just the click of a keyboard. 

I have undertaken some more writing commitments on the net this week and am happy to find that my energy level is maintaining nicely. And my pleasure in life has been increasing. 

Half of me may be a solitary lone wolf (and it is) but the other half, equally, is a very social creature. Starve it and … well, it goes hungry. 

So I’ve been feeding the beast.

Monday, June 8, 2009 

I went to see my naturopath Dr. Kelly Upcott today. She did acupuncture on me as she does every month. We talked about my progress recently. 

When I first started seeing her, two years ago, I would be bedridden for the next day or so after a visit, from the exertion.

But today I drove myself there and waltzed in and out, not only under my own steam, but without feeling like I might fall or bump into anything. 

I felt good.  

I did NOT have to go to bed when I got home.

That’s been the way of it for some months now but I will never take that energy and freedom for granted. 

I applied for a writing gig online, had some lunch, and then rested for awhile. Read a book. Watched a soap opera. Nodded off for awhile around 4:30, I confess. 

I have a Facebook page now. Learned how to put my picture on it. Pretty pleased with myself about that as I am NOT technologically inclined. And there is a little stuff on there now. 

I got a reply from an old friend who’s on Facebook, who used to write for my dear old Ncubator.com years ago. Very nice. 

Today I sent an article to EmpowHer.com where they post some of my articles. Wonderful site, and wonderful exposure that I would not have right now without them. Hopefully it will be up tomorrow sometime.

Tonight I posted two more articles to my website, Ncubator.ca, one called “I Don’t Look Sick” and the other “Shoes Make the Difference — Sometimes”. 

I love how this stuff does NOT wear me out anymore. 

I found Cort Johnson’s Forums on his site Phoenix Rising the other day. It has members already, but they are too shy (or perhaps too ill?) to post anything much yet.

Cort has started a number of threads, and I have written some. It’s a good spot, for anybody who is interested in forums. There is a link to it here in my blogroll. I invite you to go over there and look around, and maybe post some stuff.

Image by Alan Smith

Thursday, June 4, 2009 

I didn’t drive my daughter to work this morning because I wasn’t feeling too well.

Both girls have nasty colds, and I think I’ve caught it from one of them. Or both of them? 

Mine isn’t as bad as theirs. 

Interestingly enough, since CFS, I don’t generally get bad colds.

I’ll have cold — or flu — symptoms for a few days, and then usually they disappear.

Then full-blown CFS symptoms will take over for a month or two. 

This pattern seems to be changing though. I think maybe, and I say it cautiously, maybe I am getting better in that department. 

Meanwhile, I feel crappy. 

I worked on a couple of other writing projects, that are nothing to do with Ncubator or CFS. I am trying to spread my wings a bit, see how far I can go. 

That took me through to dinner time, and I picked our daughter up from work at 6:00.

I needed a break from the computer. Needed to breathe some fresh air, get out of the house. Out of my busy brain. 

After dinner I worked on some articles for Ncubator, two new ones posted tonight, though dated for the 5th. It is after all, almost midnight.

I could not have done the amount and the type of juggling that I’m doing now, a year ago. I would have had a 2 month crash about a month back.

It’s slow going and enormously frustrating, but I am getting better. 

“I am getting better … I am getting better … I am getting better …” I know it sounds like a mantra, or maybe more like a broken record.

But it’s on my mind all the time and I need to hang on to the hope, every moment that I can, that I will be able to some day walk away from all this.

I am getting better.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009 

This morning was chilly and clammy. I usually have a sluggish engine on days like this and today was no exception. 

I drove my daughter to work, didn’t take long, as she works in town. I put a book in the library drop box, and thought I’d go for a walk since I was already out.

But the wind was blowing and I didn’t have a jacket. After a block I decided this was a lousy idea and headed back to the car.

Home I went, back into the warm house. 

As the day cleared up, so did I. As usual. 

I wrote a million emails, and posted two articles to Ncubator, sent out my notification emails. Wrote the beginnings of a few more articles.

Some days I have something to say and some days I don’t. Today, I had a surprisingly fertile field.  

Ncubator is a month old today. It’s been growing much faster, and has gotten much more exposure than I could ever have expected thus far.

What a great new toy. And what great therapy for me. And people seem to like it. That is a bonus. 

Jesse was up all night last night. That hadn’t been happening for awhile but we will try not to worry too much.

He is still stronger and steadier and clearer than he’s been in a long time. He will sleep again. 

Hopefully, tonight.

Image by mmorris76 from Pixabay

May 29, 2009 

Yesterday was such a good day.  

Jesse’s 19th birthday. He and I went out — out! — I still haven’t gotten over the novelty of me being able to just pick up and go out when I choose.

And now, it’s happening for Jess. 

He’s been out more in these past 2 weeks than he has in the last 6 months. Oh! Thank God. 

We stopped at the bank. We drove 20 minutes to a nearby town, and he got a strawberry milkshake at one fast-food place, and curly fries at another one.

We drove back to our own town, stopped at the grocery store where he got the world’s largest bag of SlowPokes. (They are a family birthday tradition.) 

For that matter, so is the milkshake. The day he was born was also the day we came home from the hospital and we stopped at that self-same fast-food place, to get a strawberry milkshake.

So it’s nostalgic for me, though he naturally has no recollection of it. Man, you can’t get too much younger than he was when that happened. He was about 8 hours old. Of course he has heard the story about a million times …  

We came home, and we neither of us had to go to bed. Major. 

I answered some email — another new and wonderful thing. Watched my afternoon soap, and then our oldest son drove up to celebrate Jesse’s birthday. 

He brought ice cream and waffle cones, hamburger buns and pop. He brought presents cupcakes with icing and sprinkles (Jesse’s preference over cake this year).

I picked up our youngest daughter from work, brought her home. Started cooking hamburgers, some little frozen processed ones that are the burger of choice of some family members (I think they just don’t really like meat) and some REAL hamburgers with onion and garlic, salt and pepper and Worcestershire sauce. MmmMMm.

A friend of our daughter’s joined us for dinner, and the living room was, like it was for so many years raising 5 kids, full of people.

Even Jesse came out of his room and joined the party. (He usually doesn’t. :-) 

We were both really cooked by the end of the day. Absolutely baked. Went to my room by 8 pm or so, read awhile, answered some emails, wrote an article for Ncubator …  

And woke up today, still tired, but, thank God, a normal tired.

Image by C B from Pixabay

May 22, 2009 

I have had to sleep and rest more in this past week than I have in a long time.

But I’m also able to do much more than I have in a very long time.

I guess it’s like having to stop and put more gas in the tank of your car, the more driving you do. 

I posted a couple of articles this week, and now this entry.

Ncubator’s only been up for not quite 3 weeks, and things feel like they’re coming together faster than I expected.

I’m shooting for 3 new articles up per week, and maybe a couple of blog entries. 

This time last year, I was in the midst of a crash after catching the flu.

Then I twisted my ankle in early June and had to stay off it for a week or so.

The added stressors seemed to make the crash more intense and longer to get over.

 This year is much better.  

Last year I was thinking, wistfully, about writing again someday. Still had nothing to say, nor the energy to say anything with.

Reading seven books per week from the library was my literary achievement.

And, it goes without saying, my emails to my naturopath Dr. Kelly Upcott pretty much every week.

 That was the only writing I was doing, but as I look back I know — and I knew it at the time — writing to her was so important for me. Helped to bring me back from the dead.

Image by Erich Röthlisberger from Pixabay

May 16, 2009 

I guess I overstepped myself again. This past week, I’ve had to do a LOT of resting.

I’ve even gone back to a nap in the late mornings or early afternoons. I’ll be reading a book on the couch or on my bed, and start nodding off. 

Because I am stubborn and mulish and don’t LIKE going to bed, I try to hang in there.

Grab the book I’ve almost dropped on the floor, clap my hand on the open pages before my book closes on me, lift my head and give it a shake one more time, then another and another until — okay I can take a hint. (Sort of.)

My body is telling me very clearly it is time to lay it down and catch some z’s whether I like it or not. 

Went back to bed at 11:30 a.m. today, slept after awhile. Got up at 1 p.m. Did I feel better when I woke up?

The answer to that question for someone with CFS is … complicated. Yes and no. That is to say, yes I was less tired . But no I didn’t feel better. Sorry, that’s the clearest I can get. 

Still, last week was a good week. Ncubator was a week old and looking good to my eyes. I learned how to add on to the site by myself and that gives me greater creativity and flexibility so that’s very cool. 

I posted an article about my mom, on Ncubator and on EmpowHer.com for Mother’s Day, and had the pleasure of showing it to her on the net. I was at her house on Mothers Day, and that was my gift for her, with a little basket of raspberries to sweeten the deal. 

Later that day, our son came over to celebrate Mothers day with us.

Last week my brother from Toronto came to visit us. He stayed for a few hours, and had a chance to visit with everyone. It was a great visit, though I was pie-eyed at the end of it.

My face was getting numb and I was venturing to speak less and less often as I couldn’t trust my words to come out properly and my thoughts would suddenly drop down a trap-door never to be heard from again. 

Went right to bed after that deal for an hour or so. Rested up enough then to make dinner. I was starving! 

Which reminds me — for years, I didn’t get hungry. I knew to go get something to eat because of what time it was, or because I was getting numb in the head and vibrating. But I didn’t get hungry.

Well, I have started getting hungry again and I find — it’s a real pain in the neck. But it’s an encouraging sign of improvement too.