Jody’s Blog . . . a life after chronic fatigue syndrome

May 16, 2009 

I guess I overstepped myself again. This past week, I’ve had to do a LOT of resting.

I’ve even gone back to a nap in the late mornings or early afternoons. I’ll be reading a book on the couch or on my bed, and start nodding off. 

Because I am stubborn and mulish and don’t LIKE going to bed, I try to hang in there.

Grab the book I’ve almost dropped on the floor, clap my hand on the open pages before my book closes on me, lift my head and give it a shake one more time, then another and another until — okay I can take a hint. (Sort of.)

My body is telling me very clearly it is time to lay it down and catch some z’s whether I like it or not. 

Went back to bed at 11:30 a.m. today, slept after awhile. Got up at 1 p.m. Did I feel better when I woke up?

The answer to that question for someone with CFS is … complicated. Yes and no. That is to say, yes I was less tired . But no I didn’t feel better. Sorry, that’s the clearest I can get. 

Still, last week was a good week. Ncubator was a week old and looking good to my eyes. I learned how to add on to the site by myself and that gives me greater creativity and flexibility so that’s very cool. 

I posted an article about my mom, on Ncubator and on EmpowHer.com for Mother’s Day, and had the pleasure of showing it to her on the net. I was at her house on Mothers Day, and that was my gift for her, with a little basket of raspberries to sweeten the deal. 

Later that day, our son came over to celebrate Mothers day with us.

Last week my brother from Toronto came to visit us. He stayed for a few hours, and had a chance to visit with everyone. It was a great visit, though I was pie-eyed at the end of it.

My face was getting numb and I was venturing to speak less and less often as I couldn’t trust my words to come out properly and my thoughts would suddenly drop down a trap-door never to be heard from again. 

Went right to bed after that deal for an hour or so. Rested up enough then to make dinner. I was starving! 

Which reminds me — for years, I didn’t get hungry. I knew to go get something to eat because of what time it was, or because I was getting numb in the head and vibrating. But I didn’t get hungry.

Well, I have started getting hungry again and I find — it’s a real pain in the neck. But it’s an encouraging sign of improvement too.

May 1, 2009

 Alan and I got a step closer to having Ncubator ready to open its doors. I’m pretty excited. 

A certain balancing act is required. I get so intent upon writing, I could do it for hours. And I do it for hours. 

All the while I must keep in the back of my mind, that I do not want to burn out and crash.

And so I will make myself go and rest. Read a book. Wash some dishes. Knit a little on my latest project. 

My energy has been so good recently and I’m having so much fun, it’s easy to overdo.

Then I’ll feel the “body stone” sensations swirling and whirling, and feel my brain slow right down, and know I need to lay down awhile. 

I’m not much of a marathon runner anymore. Nor even much of a sprinter. But my strength and clarity are coming back, a bit more and a bit more.

Just don’t push, Jody. Let this thing happen in its own time.