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Willing to Rest for now

 
The weather has turned cooler and overcast these days. Summer is over.
 
It seems every year that in the change of seasons from summer to fall, I experience some downturn. Some years have been worse than others. This fall so far has been, I think, the gentlest one in over a decade.
 
I haven’t gone out even for a walk, in over a week. That has something to do with windy, rainy weather. It also has to do with a lower level of energy. And a recent reminder of how much I don’t like to crash. So I am playing it safe at present.
 
Unlike other autumns, though, I feel some … contentment with this quieter life. I don’t really feel a desire to go uptown, for instance. To do the grocery shopping. To scan the streets for someone I know.
 
The loneliness is not nearly what it was such a short time ago. That has everything to do with having formed friendships on the net, and with having some work online as well.
 
I no longer fear that if I disappeared, nobody would notice. I no longer believe that if I were to vanish, nobody would come to look for me.
 
This is a source of contentment for me.

Posted: under July, 2009.
Tags: change of seasons, contentment, crash, downturn Comments (0)

Willing to Rest for now

 

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The weather has turned cooler and overcast these days. Summer is over.
 
It seems every year that in the change of seasons from summer to fall, I experience some downturn. Some years have been worse than others. This fall so far has been, I think, the gentlest one in over a decade.
 
I haven’t gone out even for a walk, in over a week. That has something to do with windy, rainy weather. It also has to do with a lower level of energy. And a recent reminder of how much I don’t like to crash. So I am playing it safe at present.
 
Unlike other autumns, though, I feel some … contentment with this quieter life. I don’t really feel a desire to go uptown, for instance. To do the grocery shopping. To scan the streets for someone I know.
 
The loneliness is not nearly what it was such a short time ago. That has everything to do with having formed friendships on the net, and with having some work online as well.
 
I no longer fear that if I disappeared, nobody would notice. I no longer believe that if I were to vanish, nobody would come to look for me.
 
This is a source of contentment for me.

Posted: under October, 2009.
Tags: change of seasons, contentment, crash, downturn Comments (0)

 

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