Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The weather has turned cooler and overcast these days. Summer is over.
It seems every year that in the change of seasons from summer to fall, I experience some downturn. Some years have been worse than others. This fall so far has been, I think, the gentlest one in over a decade.
I haven’t gone out even for a walk, in over a week. That has something to do with windy, rainy weather. It also has to do with a lower level of energy. And a recent reminder of how much I don’t like to crash. So I am playing it safe at present.
Unlike other autumns, though, I feel some … contentment with this quieter life. I don’t really feel a desire to go uptown, for instance. To do the grocery shopping. To scan the streets for someone I know.
The loneliness is not nearly what it was such a short time ago. That has everything to do with having formed friendships on the net, and with having some work online as well.
I no longer fear that if I disappeared, nobody would notice. I no longer believe that if I were to vanish, nobody would come to look for me.
This is a source of contentment for me.