Jody’s Blog . . . a life after chronic fatigue syndrome

Monday, July 13, 2009

I guess it’s been a good week. I know it has.

Yet I feel … unsatisfied.

That seems strange to me. I am involved in things that just three months ago would have been beyond my ability to imagine. If you’d told me then what the next three months would hold, I would have … doubted that it was even possible.

Three months ago, right around now, I was newly online, with my very own laptop that my Baby bought for me from some money he’d inherited. At that time I was checking my email once a day (there was never any there) and checking my bank balance online. And then I’d close it up.

Since then, I have started writing for EmpowHer.com, and have now 18 articles published there, all taken from my website Ncubator.ca, which has 46 articles at present.

I’ve added this blog with posts from mid-April (starting during the isolationist time period that was, unbeknownst to me drawing to an end) to about a week ago.

I’ve had a few dozen requests to reprint some of my articles, and have seen some of my articles on numerous different websites.

I was invited to do an interview, and a podcast, within Ncubator’s first two weeks of existence.

All of this is fantastic, especially considering how solitary life had been till recently. I no longer feel that if I were to disappear, nobody outside of my immediate family would notice. That is very comforting.

I have done some writing for pay, a couple different copywriting gigs, and now a new writing job for Edubook.com which I am enjoying.

I belong to Facebook, with a bunch of old friends, and am a member and now an administrator (assistant) on Cort Johnson’s Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Forums (Phoenix Rising).

I have reconnected with some old friends who I exchange emails with again. And I write, and write and write without vanishing into fog.

So how can I feel unsatisfied?

I have pondered this, it doesn’t sound right to me either.

Here’s what I think.

I think that it is NOT that I am dissatisfied with any of this. Only a moron could be.

I think it’s because, … I just want … more.

This feels more positive. Because it means, I can handle all this stuff that I have going on, and still have time and the ability to move into more things than I’m doing now.

I had been afraid, with each new step, that this one or that one would cause the crash that I feared would be inevitable.

But I am still standing. Not only standing, but beginning to run. And still itching to run some more.