Jody’s Blog . . . a life after chronic fatigue syndrome

April 13, 2009

It’s only been five and a half years since we closed up Ncubator.com. That seems hard to believe, because it feels like more than a lifetime ago. 

At that time, most of our kids were still teenagers. And I hadn’t hit fifty yet. 

But I was falling further and further under the spell of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and was facing the hard fact that I couldn’t do all this stuff.

I couldn’t manage Ncubator.com, writing, running forums, emailing people, and all the other things I loved so much. 

We had to shut down Ncubator.com and it was a hard loss.

The fact that it was our own decision, the fact that nobody wanted us to close down and alot of people tried to persuade us to stay — did not lessen the pain of loss. But we knew it had to be done. 

And so began a new phase of sickness for me, and a new phase of caretaking for Al. 

I went from being very connected to people in my town, my church, my homeschool group, and our website, to being very alone a lot of the time.

Had to be. I couldn’t be around people very long before exhaustion and psychedelic nervous system messages were bending my brain for me.

I would have to go to bed. I did not answer phone calls nor return them. For years. This mainframe could not sustain that type of activity. It would instead go very wonky and then quit.

Laying down. Unconsciousness. That was the order of the day. 

But here I am! Lordy Lordy. Here. I. Am.