Jody’s Blog . . . a life after chronic fatigue syndrome

April 8, 2009

I am an intensely private person. And I’m a person who feels a strong need for connection, for community. 

I am also a person who has been chronically ill for many years.

I’ve lost touch with most of the people I used to know. And I have grown away from the interests I used to share with my old friends. 

I have become healthy enough recently to be able to look for friendship and connections again.

But … That is easier said than done, I guess.

I’m not particularly shy but I am at a loss as to where to begin.

I have a MySpace page which I have visited and stared at a dozen times or more, each time determined to write something. And each time … I am at a loss… I really know no one outside of my family these days. 

Where, and how, to begin? 

In the old days this would be a cinch. I had a website with many writers and many readers, and many online friends and associates. But things have changed so much for me these past years. 

If I were outside a room, a party, a gathering, at least I could just wander in and begin, speak to this one, or that one, develop a conversation, a relationship. But on something like MySpace or Facebook … well, I don’t have friends to contact, so nothing happens. Nothing at all. 

So. Now what? 

I’ve started a website (or rather, my husband has started one for me). It is an offshoot of the one we used to own and run. It will be a very different site from the original.

It will be … about me. It will be a place to talk about what it’s like to have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for years, and what it’s like to slowly recover from it. It may be a place to talk about some of my hobbies — I’m really into knitting right now. 

I guess I don’t have to have a clear idea of what to do. When in doubt … start writing…