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With winter comes hibernation

Posted: under July, 2009.
Comments (0)

Sunday, January 3, 2010
 
In the winter months, CFS seems to close in on me in a way that was not happening during the warmer months.
 
I am not as ill as I was last winter, but the day to day habits of my life become more closed in and insular.
 
While I don’t have the distressing neurological symptoms from before, my energy level is lower. And I find that a certain … hibernation mode seems to be what comes naturally. I liken it to the flowers and trees that cease to bloom; the animals that go to their nests; even my cat spends more time in the house sleeping.
 
I try to view this as a time of rest, waiting for the renewal of spring. Conserving energy, regenerating, resting.
 
It is a bit frightening, as it looks to me at times like I am failing at life. The strides forward of last spring and summer are mostly put on hold for now. I don’t go out. I don’t spend time on the phone. I don’t have a desire to do any of these things.
 
But I remind myself that this hibernation, the time spent in bed reading again — something I left behind last summer because I was busy with other things — is from choice this time rather than necessity. It is so that I will have the needed energy for my freelance writing, for my friends on my forums, for my family. And it is so that when the warm weather comes again, I will be ready for it …

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